“Faith is spelled R-I-S-K.” The words of Pastor Jimmy Seibert pierced right through my heart. “Are you willing to take steps of faith beyond what you can calculate?” Arrow number two. That’s been me, my whole life. Waiting, waiting, waiting until everything seems perfectly in order, confirmed by every possible circumstance, all the way to the point where a step in a certain direction isn’t a risk at all because I think I have it all figured out.
This weekend, God shattered my paradigm.
WCC rocked my world this weekend. Or I should say, the Lord rocked my world this weekend through it. I was expecting to go to a missions conference, but little did I realize that it would be a conference about fixing my soul. How long have I been living in a state of, as Martin Lloyd Jones puts it, “spiritual depression”. In his book titled as such, he defines it as the reason that so many Christians lack joy. I breezed through the first few chapters of the book as he described the state of man and how we don’t grasp how wonderful Jesus’ death on the cross was, thinking “That’s not me. I’ve got all this gospel stuff down.” This weekend though, God was reminding me that yes, I am deeply and dearly loved, and yes, as long as I continue to walk through life on my own, I’ll never make it. I’ll run out of gas.
I need to be carried by God. I went this weekend trying to figure out the purpose of my life for the next 25 years or so. Instead, I came home believing more firmly in the providence of God than ever before, and with a renewed confidence that God is working out His plan in His time. What I want isn’t the most important thing, what GOD wants is the most important thing. God’s asking me to take steps of faith in the small things set in front of me in order to lead me to the bigger things. He who has had faith in small tasks will be entrusted with much.
So Marcia and I woke up at 5:20 this morning, and got ready by 6 so we could spend time in prayer, time in the Word. It’s been two days since we started this, and I’ve never felt so tired and so refreshed at the same time. Meeting with the God of the Universe to begin my day – what a wonderful thing.
Did I find out what I’m supposed to do for the rest of my life? Nope. But I do know that my purpose is defined in God, and not in my own will. And my life is going to involve risk. Risk where I won’t know all the details, but I will know that God’s carrying me all the way.
No related posts.
Good stuff. I don’t know what I’m doing for the rest of my life either, but I do know what I’m supposed to do every morning
.
It sounds like God totally blessed you through WCC. Man, I totally wish they let me in (darn late registration!). But thank goodness for you guys and the messages on tape! =)
j, what a timely post. so many times i ask for more faith only to realize that an increase in faith many times means a parting with the control that i feel i have in my life (or desire of control) and more providence and workings on His part. it’s a scary thought to consider how less and less we are to be and more and more God, yet it becomes rather reassuring when we really think about it. it is by faith that we place our life’s being into the hand of the Creator. however, it should be more like a waiting list for us to all desire to entrust our lives to the Master as we are reminded in 1 Cor 1 when it says, “the foolishness of God is wiser than man.”
thanks for the reminder j.
amen! wcc has got to be the *coolest* conference ever. i was extremely sad as i put my stuff in the car and drove away…i know how the disciples felt when they went up to the mountain, saw the glory of God, and wanted to pitch a tent and stay! but God rebuked them, and sent them back down the mountain…i need to go back down the mountain..
Hi there!
So excited and joyful to read your entry. God does rock our world when we least expected. I was thinking I would receive clarity on where i was going, only I was sent home realizing I know I have to spend more time with my creator! and to do it at the beginning of the day! Its been so awesome to hear about so many people committed to waking up early. I agree – its tiring but so refreshing. Its like being a new christian all over again