the ancient art of shalom

How could you say no to this face?

I love our little girl.  She brings a smile to my face when I see her, hear her, feel her claw at my face, laugh, and all that good stuff.  But recently, I had to say no to her.  I had to step into this world in parenting called “discipline.”

You see, I started it.  After her final milk of the night, we always give her a bath in this little tub that fits in the kitchen sink.  It’s a lot of fun.  She gets to lie there while we scrub her with soap and make her all nice and clean before we lay her down to bed.  Inevitably, she discovered the joy of splashing.  I thought it was hilarious, and laughed – a lot.  Seeing that I would react, she splashed more.  This went on for a few days.  Until I realized that ultimately this wasn’t going to be a constructive behavior (especially as her arms and legs got more powerful).

So, after a brief chat with Marcia, we decided that we had to put a stop to it.  So the next bath, when she splashed, I had to give her a firm No and not smile.  It was a horrible feeling inside, especially because every part of my being was telling me to laugh, and play with her, and have fun.  But in this case, the discipline was not to laugh, say no, and hold her arms for a second.  After that one incident, she basically stopped splashing in the bath.

I had to do something similar to that today, when she was reaching to pull an extension cord out of the wall electrical socket in our study.  I grabbed her arm away from the plug, gave her a very firm no, and pulled her up into my lap.  She was completely silent for about a minute.  Not a peep or a squirm, which is unusual for our little girl.  Maybe she got it, maybe she didn’t.  But as a father, her best interests have to be in mine, because I love her.

I’m a complete amateur at this dad thing.  I’ve often heard it said that it really helps to catch a smidgen of the Father heart of God when you become one yourself.  I have to imagine that includes the area of discipline as well.  For God’s discipline does not come out of spite or hate or anything of that sort, but out of a deep love that we can barely fathom.

7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

- Hebrews 12:7-11, ESV